The Inclusion-Exclusion Principle

Humans are social creatures. One of our primary wants is the need to connect with other humans, be accepted and share our thoughts and feelings with each other. There are lots of animals that are not loners. Wolves for example, always move around in packs. So do elephants and primates(monkeys, chimpanzees). Even small little ant is not alone. In fact many of them have pretty complex structures.

However none is as complex as the human structure. Humans are part of many groups at any given time. Family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc.  Now being the complex beings that we are, we divide these into numerous categories and sub-categories. Relatives get divided into close and distant. Friends into good, bad, just know, BFF and so on.

So what is it that makes us include some and exclude some from our circles. Basic human nature is to blame. We like to be around people that make us feel comfortable. If more people in a group (any group- family/friend) feel threatened or inferior to one particular individual they tend to gang up and exclude that one individual. And this is common across any social structure. Even in primates, if the head(dominant individual) of the pack doesnt like a particular individual, he/she drives that individual out of the group and since the head is doing that, the group follows suit. However, humans are not that kind. They will play games. They dont want the unwanted and unliked individual to "feel bad". Hence they will taunt, or get together and not invite, etc.

The root of all this is insecurities within the group. Maybe because of the way they have behaved in the past or experienced things in the past. Sadly this behavior cannot be changed. Hence, we have so many groups, based on ethnicity, religion, region, language, caste. Basically, anything to classify or label each other. Acceptance of each other comes only with maturity and that is rare. Just because someone is young doesnt make them immature and just because someone is older doesnt make them mature.
Humans are complex no doubt. But science and nature have shown us that simplicity is the best. Simplify your lives and relationships. Tolerance and acceptance of each other is paramount to a happy and carefree existence that we all crave for. It is achievable. Just Simplify...

The Hurt and the Reality...

Sometimes in life, you have to accept that there are certain things that cant happen anymore.
And when those moments arrive and hit you, one does have a hard time reconciling with the reality that is life.
Like when you are small, you dont realise, that everyday is life happening and your past forming. When you "grow up" you realise that you never were that person you thought you were and are not the person you thought you would become. You never were part of that perfect family they showed on TV, you may not be living that life you had envisioned for yourself, you may have missed certain goals and deadlines that you had set for yourself, you may never graduate from that fancy college with a fancy degree, you may never be a priority in that one persons life. But, life is a little kind. She gives us these happy realisations in steps and installments, sort of like EMIs that come all through your life. But then there comes a moment when it all hits you all at once in a flash and then life never feels the same again.

But the beauty of the human spirit is such that it allows us to dream new dreams and hope new hopes. However now those hopes and dreams get tainted with the bitter doses of reality. What we have to do is try and dream with all our might and soul. For even when it hurts, you still have the chance to be the person you want to be and live the life you want to lead. The hurt is like a flu shot. It doesnt insulate you from all the flues of world, but gives you antibodies to fight the ones that you have faced, fight back and flourish!
BE HAPPY ALWAYS!